Para the sociology , a family is a group of people united by ties of kinship . The main links are of two types: bonds of affinity from the establishment of a socially recognized relationship, such as marriage -that in some societies, only allows marriage between two people while in others it is possible polygamy - and inbreeding links, such as affiliation between parent and child or establishing ties between siblings are descended from one father. Family may also differ depending on the degree of kinship among its members:
- nuclear family, parents and children (if any), also known as "family circle";
- extended family, nuclear family also includes the grandparents, uncles , cousins \u200b\u200band other relatives, whether by blood or marriage;
- family of , it's just a parent and child, especially if they are adopted or have a consanguineous relationship with one of the two parents, family
- single parent, in which the child or children live (n) with only one parent;
- other types of families: those formed only for siblings, and friends (where the sense of the word "family" has nothing to do with a blood relation, but especially with feelings such as coexistence, solidarity, etc.), etc., who live together in the same space for a considerable time.
saying there societies where "family" refers to the nuclear family, and others where it refers to the extended family. This meaning is culturally based and depends in large part on how individuals living with their relatives.
The reason for the existence of the family can not be addressed solely as a response to the need for biological reproduction of societies. The reproduction of a society, that is, the incorporation of new members into the fabric of social relations is not merely by biological means. If it were conceded that the family must reproduce biologically, this conceptualization of the institution that is addressed in the article does not serve to qualify as "families" of those groups where Ego or your spouse (or both ) are unable to reproduce biologically.
In these cases, reproductive function is transferred to the mechanisms of recruitment socially acceptable as the adoption -. Recruitment of new family members ensures its importance in time, but does not explain why there are families. On the other hand, social reproduction is not the only power of families. These serve as the framework that made the first socialization of new individuals in a society, through what is called education . The education of children is in accordance with cultural code of each society.
Moreover, the mere inbreeding does not guarantee the automatic establishment of the ties of solidarity with those who are often characterized families. If family ties are equivalent to the blood ties, an adopted child could never establish a relationship cordial with her adoptive parents, as their "family instincts" lead him to reject them and seek the protection of the biological father. Family ties, therefore, are the result of a process of interaction between a person and his family, whatever that every society has defined family and extended family, or foster parent families, etc .-. In this process, mixed questions of a psychological and social , which derives a fairly strong identification with the first core of socialization of the individual. Hence, as in other domains of kinship , it is necessary to emphasize the fact that the existence of the family is not a purely biological phenomenon: it is also and above all, a cultural construction, as defined in each society according to their needs and vision of the world that constitutes a "family" .
in the formation and development of the nuclear family involving psychological, social, sexual and emotional, among others. To study this phenomenon it is useful to see the family as a living system, a theory that cutting authors postulate systemic , not forget that it is not the only viewpoint from which you can analyze, because there are other models that can be taken for it.
The life cycle of the nuclear family
The family, according to Lauro Estrada (2003), like any living organism has a story, a birth and development. Reproduced, declines and eventually die. In each of these steps is faced with different tasks: the union of two distinct beings with the same goal, the possible arrival of children, the equation in all its functions, in time, drop them so that they form new families. From this, the family may be studied as a cycle of six stages. In each there are two main objectives, solving tasks and crises of each stage of development and provide everything necessary for its members to enable them to satisfaction. Estrada Lauro The steps proposed are:
- Detachment Meeting Arrival
- Young children's children Reunion
every family must go through each of the stages. These only serve as a roadmap for study and analysis.
Detachment
The family got its start in the constitution of the pair, which occurs in the engagement. This phase develops the detachment of both partners on the family of origin. This process will be easy or difficult according to family attachment developed during his youth.
To achieve a full match in the relationship requires a prior and gradual release of children to their parents, they try to stop their children to stay with them, thus avoiding the painful "leaving nest, the children, however, endeavor to achieve independence and autonomy.
This process is not easy for any of the members of the family for the pain and longing that causes all farewell, and the uncertainty that holds the unknown and lack of confidence that the decision on the choice of a couple have been correct. Even many young drag on their romantic relationships, or can not find stability with anyone, and therefore constantly change partners. There are many marriages that even with many years of marriage could not be off as genuine in their respective families of origin.
is therefore important to consider when dating as a key step in the formation of the couple as the experiences that have the same, to take the step to marriage, will be the basis to start building the new family.
Dating
- Definition
A simple definition of engagement is: a period in which romantic relationships are maintained with the aim of increasing mutual understanding and deeper with anticipation of a future marriage. The courtship should be, above all, a time of preparation for marriage. The purpose of dating is the choice of the person which is intended to form a family, and mutual understanding. From this, the couple will decide if the relationship lasts until marriage or, come to an end. Dating is dissolvable by its very nature and thus, rupture does not require any further delay the decision to either partner.
- dating features
are characteristics that make them to courtship as it is, and which are important here to emphasize why several meanings emerge that will be highlighted in the marriage.
- Exclusivity: This feature implies loyalty and commitment to intimate partner than any other person; allows reciprocity and correspondence of love involves sharing feelings.
- Temporality: the time spent living as a couple given before formalizing their relationship or terminate it. The engagement must have a certain time duration, for too short a period of coexistence and knowledge can bring problems in the marital relationship, which could be avoided or resolved in courtship, on the other hand, if the relationship is too long runs the risk of fall into the habit, ending in marriage failure.
- gradual mutual Delivery: is a progressive detachment from himself, for free from the demands of welfare, comfort and search personal satisfaction, can be gradually finding the happiness of others, in the end turns out to be a reward and happiness of their own, without seeking it intentionally. This level of confidence should be gradually deepening confidence, affection, communication and intimacy, foundations that reach to give strength and solidity to the relationship, thus strengthening a future marriage.
- Transient: the couple should not stay in an eternal courtship, but is gradually being integrated as a couple to go towards a formal and complete.
Meeting
After detachment process and socio-emotional support of family of origin, young adults are in a position to formalize a relationship dating to getting married . The Charter of Rights Family of the Holy See (1983), states that "Everyone has the right freely to choose their state of life and therefore the right to marry and establish a family or remain celibate. "
The fact that a man and a woman decide to marry is the starting point for the formation of a family. Currently, in most countries, this decision is free and no one is forced to choose that state of life, unlike other times, in which the marriage was imposed. This is because marriage is regarded as an intimate union of life, an indissoluble bond, freely contracted and publicly expressed, in which a man and woman complement each other and are open to the transmission of life.
This is the stage of the emergence of a new family when a man and a woman "are" to build a link solid mutual aid and childbearing, the two fundamental purposes of marriage dictated primarily by nature, and on the experience, society and the rule of different cultures through history, setting them in legislative bodies, for example in the civil codes, such as Mexico State: "Marriage is an institution of public and social interest, through which a man and a woman voluntarily choose to share a state of life to the pursuit of personal fulfillment and the foundation of a family. "
The choice of a partner to form a marriage and family must be moved by a genuine and profound love and not just "love". It is natural to give in love at the beginning of a relationship, ie the passions and emotions be strong, but the passion and feeling have a short duration. The love instead may last as long as each person is willing to cultivate it. However, just as in love easily comes and goes, love takes time and dedication both to survive birth, so it is necessary also to have achieved a certain degree of personal maturity.
When love between a man and a woman is such that both have the certainty that is strong enough to generate and embrace life, both for each of them as new people are ready to form a marriage and a family: a community of life and love.
Once the couple has decided to share his life, there is necessarily a process of adaptation: these are two people with ideas, feelings, stories and different education must learn to coexist and integrate a single family dynamics and a new history together.
The process takes time, willingness, commitment and humility to respect differences, compromise on certain things to reach agreements and forgive mistakes. Must agree through dialogue and the same living, new rules and patterns of behavior, and the roles each will play in the home run. Each one must say openly and clearly what you expect of the other so that both can commit to a common life project.
Relationship between love and procreation
The other consequences arising from the marital relationship is the unitive and procreative dimension. The physical act of sexual union simultaneously implies the ability to act union of two sexes (unitive dimension) and objective fitness or ability to procreate (procreative dimension.) Isolated acts are not always psychologically procreative or unitive actually due to an obstacle, intended or not, does not detract from the purpose for which it is intended the gesture.
Today continuously insists on separating the two dimensions, focusing on the pleasure of sex, taking away part of its essence, this is primarily a utilitarian principle that considers pleasure as the basis and purpose, both action and the regulation of all human activity. Thus, utilitarianism treats the person as means used to achieve an end, in this case, the maximum pleasure possible. In contrast to the utilitarian principle is the personalistic norm, which considers in its negative content, the person is an asset that is not according to use and can not be treated as an object, and at the same time, the content positive, consider that the person is a good such that only love can make appropriate and valid attitude towards it. Unitive and procreative dimension is understood and accepted only in the context of the personalistic norm, which accepts and gives the other person as a whole, ie not excluding anything from him, even his fertility.
- Procreation responsible
Human procreation is one of the most important election of the couple, one of the main purposes of marriage, it has resulted in the birth of a new person. Therefore, procreation purposes registered between sexuality and sexual complementarity is lawful, and who has made the choice can not exclude marriage permanently. Exclude the fertility of a marriage that is geared specifically to it, is to contradict the purpose of the conjugal act. However, no one can speak of "right to a child," the law emanating from the marriage is able to act in self fertile, but fertility may depend on effective other causes. The right to a child is an inappropriate term because no one is "entitled" to have a person like a thing.
Some people, as believers, are the act of procreation even greater significance because it implies a special intervention of God creator. However, even without being a believer, the grandeur of a new human person is recognized.
The arrival of children
A child affects both the personal and familiar. The arrival of a child requires physical and emotional space. The couple must purchase a new anchor of emotional relationship with the child, including the ability to help the partner to do so. Having a child helps the couple's privacy, stimulating the differentiation and development of various facets of the personality of each.
One important factor at this stage is to properly identify the affected economic area in order to define what are the tasks of the work and home, and help everyone meet their own and do not confuse the issue lack of real affection, unselfishness or loss of desire and purpose of starting a family.
The ideology of fatherhood and the decision to have children has changed significantly in recent years. The decision to have children do not go hand in hand with the decision to marry, the decision to have sex goes hand in hand with the idea that it should be within marriage.
At this stage, the area of \u200b\u200bsexuality establishes the importance of holding the couple through reproduction. Here family planning plays a key role, each partner must be responsible and how many children could actually enter his family.
Adolescence of children
The adolescence is a time of crisis and change, experimentation and definition, both for children and for adolescents parents; period in Western, industrialized society has gradually been lengthened, and that some time ago could be seen between 14 and 17 or 18 years (currently aproximademente between 12 to 20 years). In this phase, several factors are combined:
- More frequent emotional problems.
- parents, although found at maturity, are forced again to relive their own adolescence.
- Grandparents are close to not being able to support themselves, and loneliness and death ahead.
The average teenager has identity crisis , but not identity diffusion. The crisis is because the internal sense of identity, early and adolescent physical changes, not for the confirmation of the environment, which already begins to treat as a young adult. In contrast, identity diffusion speaks of severe psychopathological syndromes.
Adolescence is the stage where they are most often serious emotional problems. For a parent can give adequate support to your child is necessary that he has resolved his teenage best, not to relive your own adolescence and do not try to be overprotective of her son.
In the area of \u200b\u200bprivacy, the parent may feel rivalry when her son grows stronger than he or the child may feel less validated, realizing that does not meet the expectations of their parents.
According to Estrada, in his book The life cycle family, both parents try to pass tests as seeing strong their social status is not equal to that of the parents of your children's friends, and even come to find surprises that there are others that offer more attractive and encouraging to their children than themselves.
Children will be separated from the family and is necessary to renew the marriage contract. Some parents find it hard to let go of their adolescent children, but must find time to drop them to go in search of a strange person with which to continue the life cycle of the family. When children leave the couple takes on another dimension in the social area and must learn to adapt.
The reunion of the couple
Known as the stage of "empty nest" stage is more demanding for the family system in which the couple faces the problems of biology that decreases as it passes from middle age to age, the acceptance of the grandchildren and the role of grandparents, the death of some relatives of previous generations, retirement, differences with the new generation (the generation gap, etc.). This is because by this time almost always the children have already left to form their own families, which proposes some changes. Parents are near 50 years of age or older. If things have gone well in the previous stages, it will be easier to accept changes in biology that tends to decline, just as couples may face family and social changes that occur.
Parents should be independent of the children and grandchildren to re-form a pair. Reunite with themselves and with the partner. At the moment it becomes very necessary mutual support between spouses. This mutual support will help continue the search for new challenges and new goals for marriage.
Sometimes feelings of guilt appear like ghosts from the past mistakes made by others, especially children, and the desires of his own death.
Aging
stage is less well known. In this, the elderly must adapt to loss and age presents challenges: finding a new identity, a company that produces pleasure, as well as significant experience and genuine. This stage, like all others, presents obstacles such as:
- the sadness generating feel the rejection of others
- with the arrival of her husband has retired, the woman feels invasion of the space formerly controlled: it is necessary to define limits of the areas where each can act independently; otherwise, there is a risk that could lose respect and esteem, and anxiety appear the , stress and depressive states
- overprotection of children to parents, where they are not allowed to live in freedom .
Grandparenting offers a new horizon in life:
- Turn the will to survive, to accept their own mortality.
- In the presence of the grandson and grandfather, past and future merge into the present. It gives the opportunity to experience a new relationship, different from the father, with the grandchildren.
Love Family: Being
know our children in the emotions is to help them develop their capacity to love. The love is spread mainly in the family. FAMILY
"The family is an intimate community of life and love" whose mission is "to guard, reveal and communicate love "with four general tasks (Familiaris Consortio):
* Building a community of people
*
service life * Participation in the development of society
* Participation in the life and mission of the church
Learning to Love
The ability to love is the result of the emotional development of human being during the early years of his life. The emotional development is a continuous and sequential process, from infancy adulthood.
Affective maturity is a long process by which man is prepared for the intimate and personal communication with peers as a unique and unrepeatable I, and to be triggered the first contact of children with adults perpetuated throughout its existence.
Although man was created by God with an innate ability to love, growth and experience of love is through the experience that man acquires over of his life. In the individual context of each person, this experience is located in your family.
The family is where it becomes possible to love, unconditional love, and parents who start a family with a promise of love, love their children because they are his children, not because of their qualities. "The family is a center of intimacy and openness."
in the family is where we cultivate the human man, who is learning to think, to deepen, to reflect. Is within the scope of the family where man learns the cultivation of virtue, the respect that is the guardian of love, honesty, generosity, responsibility, love of work, gratitude, etc. The family invites you to be creative in the cultivation of intelligence, will and heart, and open ourselves to contribute to society prepared and complete. The love of family should be transmitted to society.
The family is the first environment is vital that the man come into this world and experience is crucial for good.
"The family, says John Paul II, is the first and most important school of love." "The greatness and responsibility of the family are to be the first community of life and love, the first environment where men can learn to love and be loved, not only others but also and above all by God."
's all about the mystery of the Father who created us for love and for love. It has made us in His image and likeness, we are all equal in dignity as sons. To reveal its parental love "makes us born of love of a man and a woman and introduces the family, she is the place of love and life, or put in a better way:" The place where love begets life " .
conjugal love, model love for children.
"The family is the first and fundamental school of social skills, a community of love in the gift of herself with the law that governs and makes it grow. The self-giving that inspires the love of spouses is becomes the model and standard self-giving that should be in the relationships between brothers and sisters and between different generations living together in the family. The communion and sharing everyday life in the home, in times of joy and of difficulty the more concrete and effective pedagogy for the active, responsible and fruitful inclusion of the children in the wider horizon of society "(Familiaris Consortio)
Someone said that "it can reproduce outside the family, but only family can be educated" and education for love can only be in the field of family love. The example is the best way to educate, there is a phrase that says "What you are speaks so loudly, I can not hear what I say." What we earn to say, or pretend to demonstrate love for our children, what matters is what they see in the way we treat our spouse.
We must clearly understand that there is nothing more and better educated children the example of love they see in their parents as a couple. To truly love our children we must first love our spouse.
The love factor in development of the children
The other key aspect of the influence of love within the family is found in the development of the individual, more particularly the children.
Every family, even without intending to create an environment (of love or indifference and selfishness, stiffness or tenderness, order or anarchy, working or lazy, smart or simple, etc.). affecting all members, but especially in children and young people. MEET
Amar es find the integral good of another. He who loves only one who loves, knows the person well loved, because not only known but as it appears on the inside, let alone knows "its possible", what can and "should" be. As Paul Valery said "what is true of an individual as himself, is possible, which can become."
Based on the fact that man is a being in process, "we think it is in the family will move more in this process. Then we can evaluate the significance of our love for children. Our love will be responsible for ensuring that they reach the height that should come to have, in all aspects of his person.
He who loves not only knows what your loved one can be, but "it helps, helps to develop all the potential you have that many sometimes ignored, it helps make what can be. TRUST
psychology states that the affection stimulates learning and intelligence developed by the sense of security and confidence given that develops slowly throughout infancy, childhood and adolescence.
The human person is always in the process to go by, is a being with a certain amount of insecurity. He who feels loved experiences within himself a force that increases their safety.
Feel the confidence of the people we love is not only helpful, but in many cases "vital."
Trust does not mean looking the other way, accept, assign. Trust means to believe the person even though the facts are against him.
trusting someone involves being patient, waiting.
How can we instil confidence in our children?. Helping them discover their skills, limitations and shortcomings. Helping them to develop qualities, encouraging and applauding their achievements however small, to help them discover where they can bring their inclinations if not dominate, and above all, making them feel our love. For this we need not only patience but also time.
The opposite of trust is to download on our children our anger and impatience, reproaching his clumsiness, failure and wrongdoing, without passing security that we can change. The say "you're wrong" instead of "what you did is a bad action.
DEMAND.
Demand is an essential ingredient of love.
Just who in the name of love can be hard on yourself may require for the sake of others, because love is demanding. It is in every human situation.
Love, which St. Paul celebrates in the Letter to the Corinthians, is certainly challenging "patient love, helpful, comprehensive
...". Love the children does not mean keep them comfortable. Love is looking good for the beloved of last resort and not the momentary pleasure. It is possible that sometimes love for a child to generate momentary frustration really prepares you for a greater good.
Love needs discipline.
We quote Ignace Lepp, in his book Psychoanalysis of love says:
"Genuine love is the most effective creator and promoter existence. If so people - good or better equipped - remain as mediocre, is because often they have never been loved with a tender love and demanding "Transcendence
love Real love lived in the family must reach the society, the family must leave itself and share the profound experience of love between them that is a reflection of the love of God.
The apostles understood that marriage and family is a true vocation which comes from God, a ministry, the lay apostolate. These contribute to the transformation of the earth and the renewal of the world, of creation and of all humanity.
In this respect Pope John Paul II in his Letter to Families says: "Dear families, you too should be fearless, ever ready to be witness to the hope that you have that has been deposited in your heart for Good Pastor through the Gospel. You should be ready to follow Christ to those pastures of life and that he himself has prepared through the Paschal Mystery of his death and resurrection. "
Love in the family has two basic tasks:
1. Teach love, learn to love. Develop, preserve and communicate the love , and project to society.
2. Help each one of its members, especially children, to develop their full potential, to arrive as close as possible to what must become, to reach the call to which have been called by Creator.
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